Wow! What an odd morning. I woke happy and content—dogs all around...and the big, bright sunlight streaming through the eastern windows. Coffee, biscuit and to the barn. Seth slept outside in his tent—preparing for a bear hunt come April. When I rounded the corner, I smelled fumes—and as my mind went to terrible places, I panicked, thinking that something had gone wrong...and he was...gone. I have experienced death in my life: this brought up so much stuff—and I huddled into a paralyzed place of numbness. I walked about six miles. Miles and miles. As the moon shifts into Capricorn, tasks and to-do lists come to the rescue, but our truth is never left behind. Losing things you love deeply is something that is hard to bare. I don't visit this place often. Wow. Breathe. He's just working in the barn. Right there. Lambs. New life.